


no road to paradise

by just_nat



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Nastya becomes a mechanism nd Jonny is Not Happy, not happy folx!, warnings for Carmilla being creepy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_nat/pseuds/just_nat
Summary: "Her name is Anastasia Nikolaevna Rasputina." An expression Jonny might call fondness on anybody else crosses Carmilla’s face as she lays the body down on a table in the lab. "She goes by Nastya, and she's going to be perfect."Dr. Carmilla makes another mechanism. Jonny isn't happy about it.
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & Dr Carmilla, Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina
Comments: 7
Kudos: 129





	no road to paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Cyberian Demons" which is Nastya's orgin song (unrecorded unfortunately)
> 
> s/o to the stowaways discord for giving me feelings about Jonny and Nastya, and for reacting with varying levels of distress whenever i posted an excerpt.

When Carmilla finally finds him, Jonny thought his situation couldn't get any worse. His escape attempt had failed and he knows by now that she'll take out that failure on him. So Jonny paces back and forth through the empty halls of the unresponsive ship he had won, halfheartedly coming up with excuses for why he isn't waiting at the ship he arrived on with Doc Carmilla. Suddenly, a hum echoes through the ship, as if it was finally coming to life. 

Jonny sprints to the doors and sure enough he recognizes the figure of the Doc walking forward. But.. he squints. Is she carrying something? Taking a deep breath, Jonny strides forward to meet Carmilla halfway. 

As he draws closer, the shape in her arms becomes clearer, and suddenly Jonny realizes it's a person. The understanding hits him all at once, and horror blossoms in his gut as the pieces begin to connect in his mind, forming a picture he wishes he could chalk up to his imagination. 

"Hello Jonathen." Carmilla smiles, the blood on her fangs gleaming in the low light. "Do make sure the lab is set up will you? I've acquired a companion for you."

Jonny can’t even begin to think of a reply, his horror keeping him rooted to the spot while he stares at the body Carmilla carries. 

She’s just a kid. Her head lolls as Carmilla impatiently shifts her weight and the dread that had been slowly growing in his gut becomes a sharp, stabbing sensation. 

_She’s just a kid_ he thinks again, swallowing around the lump in his throat. _She’s just a kid, a dead kid and the Doc won’t even let her rest in peace._

“Jonathen.” The Doc’s sharp voice cuts through his near-hysteric thoughts. “Is the lab prepared? I do need to complete my work.”

Mutely, Jonny nods, the mantra of _akidshessoyoungjustakidhow_ building to a screaming crescendo in the back of his head as he stares at the dead girl. 

Carmilla lets out a sharp sigh as she walks past him into the ship. 

“Hurry up. We don’t have all day to leave this planet.”

Shaking his head, Jonny quickly turns to begin catching up with the Doc

***

"How old is she?" Jonny demands as he walks alongside the Doc to the lab. “And where did you even find her?” Their two sets of footsteps echo off the empty hallways of the ship as the pair continue forward. 

The girl - she looks so young and Jonny feels sick at the thought of Carmilla experimenting on her- doesn't so much as twitch as every step jostles her in Carmilla's arms. 

"Her name is Anastasia Nikolaevna Rasputina." An expression Jonny might call fondness on anybody else crosses Carmilla’s face as she lays the body down on a table in the lab. "She goes by Nastya, and she's going to be _perfect._ "

Jonny looks at the girl, Nastya, laying still on the table with her limbs still limp as a dolls where they had fallen. He barely registers the sound of Carmilla preparing blood transfusion equipment somewhere behind him as he takes in how ashen Nastya looks, takes in the two neat puncture wounds on her throat and the smear of blood bright red against her pale skin. 

Unconsciously, Jonny raises his hand to where he knows there is a matching set of scars on his own neck. All of the pieces suddenly snap together in his mind. 

Finally he understands what Carmilla had been doing during their time on Cyberia. He had been trying his best to keep tabs on Carmilla as he planned his escape, hoping she would be too busy with whatever had caught her attention to notice if he made it out on a ship.

Now he wishes he had played _more_ attention. Maybe then he would have been able to save this Nastya from being drawn in by Doc Carmilla just as he had been. 

***

He doesn't stay for the actual surgery and transfusion. He still remembers the agony of his own transformation, and has no desire to watch another go through it. 

Besides. Maybe if Jonny didn’t help the Doc she would screw it up somehow, and then Nastya would be spared from whatever twisted fate was in store for her. 

Jonny scoffs at that thought. “The Doc managed just fine on her own when she was making you, it isn’t suddenly gonna become different because you want it to be.” he says to himself, dragging a hand down his face.

He’d been pacing by a bank of windows for the better part of nearly 3 hours now, listening to the sounds that escaped from the Docs lab and watching the stars fly by as the ship that was supposed to be his escape trapped another person in this nightmare of an existence.

Try as he might Jonny couldn’t get the image of Nastyas pale face out of his mind. Her dead eyes staring at him from a face that belonged to a kid, somebody who deserved better than to be bound eternally to the cruelties of Doc. Carmilla.

It wasn’t his fault. Logically he knew that but logic had never cared for him before so why would it spare him this misplaced guilt? There wasn’t anything he could do. Only.. when Nastya woke up she would be scared and confused, same as he was when he woke up that first time. Jonny knew from first hand experience that the Doc would be of no comfort to the girl, only concerned with her damned tests. There could be somebody else there this time though. 

Jonny paused in his pacing. That.. wasn’t a bad idea. There was no way for him to turn back time and prevent Nastya from ever meeting Carmilla, but he could at the very least offer what meager comfort his company would bring her. 

Of course in order to get into the lab, he had to make sure the Doc was preoccupied by something else. Nothing too drastic, just enough to get her out of the lab for long enough that he could carefully sneak in and meet the new girl. 

When he gets in he’s going to have to keep careful track of the seconds so he isn’t still around when Carmilla returns, but that’s secondary. First, he needs a distraction. 

***

Exactly 45 minutes and one minor explosion on the side of the ship furthest from the lab later, Jonny is cautiously creeping into the main area, keeping an eye out for any surprises from the Doc’s less controlled experiments. 

He spots Nastya almost at the same moment she looks up and notices him. She’s sitting on the lab table, her legs dangling off of the table with her arms wrapped around herself. At the sight of him, wariness fills her eyes and Jonny hastens to hold up his empty hands to show he isn't any immediate threat to her. 

“Nastya, right? You can call me Jonny,” he says calmly, grabbing a spare stool and sitting down across from her. “I know you must be confused. I was too, when I woke up here the first time.”

While speaking, Jonny took a moment to really look Nastya over. She looked about as well as could be expected considering what she had just gone through. She was shivering though, dressed only in a thin hospital gown and the sight of it hurt a part of his mechanical heart that Jonny wasn’t even sure existed anymore. 

With a frown, Jonny shrugged off his coat, slowly and deliberately offering it to Nastya. “Here, take this. You’re shivering.”

Nastya takes the coat, careful, Jonny notes, not to accidentally brush his hand and quietly murmurs “thank you,” opting to simply let it hang loosely around her shoulders rather than put it on fully. 

With Jonny’s coat draped around her shoulders, Nastya almost looked smaller than him. A funny trick that, considering that she would probably have a couple inches on him standing up. 

“You can keep it for now, but you’ll want to hide it somewhere when the Doc comes back. It won't do you any good if it gets all cut up.” a bitter smile twists his mouth. “Besides, she wouldn’t be happy if she found out I visited you.”

“Why? If I’m going to be staying on this ship, wouldn’t it be better if we get to know each other?” 

A scoff tears its way out of Jonny’s throat. “What you need to learn Nastya, is that the Doc isn’t doing this out of the kindness of her heart, or because she _loves_ you, or whatever bullshit she told you. The only reason the Doc does anything is to see if she can, and to see what happens next.”

He’s pacing again, the familiar bitter anger flooding his veins and prompting him to get up and move. 

“Dr. Carmilla doesn’t care about us! We’re just her little _mechanisms_ , toys for her to play with as she pleases and throw away once she’s done.” Jonny spits, decades of resentment and hatred boiling over. Distantly he’s aware that he’s started shouting, but he can’t stop the venomous tirade from continuing. 

“Do you think I asked for this? The Doc tore out my heart and replaced it with a metal one because it suited her needs! Not mine! She never asked if I wanted this, _because she doesn’t care_! Do you get it now?” 

There’s a few moments of silence, broken only by the hum of machinery and Jonny’s chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. Throughout his rant, the initial wariness in Nastya’s eyes had only grown more prominent. 

“Why should I trust you then?” Nastya asks, looking up to make eye contact with Jonny.

Jonny frowned. “What?”

“You say I can’t trust Doctor Carmilla, but why should I believe what you tell me?” There was a fire in Nastya’s eyes now, burning determination to get an answer out of Jonny that would make sense. 

It would probably be smart in this moment, to take time to think her demand over before answering with something smart that would get Nastya to believe him. But, Jonny mused, he’d never exactly been the type to think things through. 

“Believe me because -” he tugs at his hair, a nervous habit he’d never quite been able to get rid of, despite the Doc’s best efforts - “because I’m never going to lie to you. I swear that to you right here, right now. Whatever Carmilla tells you, whatever bullshit she tries to get you to believe, just hold onto that okay?”

There is a long pause.

Holding eye contact, he says “I promise Nastya. If nothing else, believe that.” 

Finally, Nastya nods and Jonny lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. 

“Okay. I - okay. Look, I need to go. The Doc can’t know I was in here, and my distraction isn’t gonna keep her attention for much longer. But when she lets you out of here, you come and find me.” He tries for a smile, knows it falls flat. “After all, I’m gonna need my coat back.”

Nastya huffs out a small laugh. “Thank you Jonny. I…” the confidence in her posture falters, and she clutches the coat around her shoulders a little tighter. “Just thank you.”

“I get it.” He lingers for a moment longer, feeling as if he should say something more but not knowing what. Eventually, he turns and leaves. 

As Jonny makes his way out of the Docs lab, he tries to comfort himself with the thought that Nastya wouldn’t be going through everything alone. It doesn’t help to abide the guilt churning in his stomach, not when the memories of his own time spent alone in this lab were biting at his heels. 

There's nothing he can do. He knows that. But he can’t stop seeing Nastya with his coat draped around her shoulders, staring back at him with fiery determination. He was full of fire when the Doc first took him as well, but it didn’t last. It _couldn’t_ last, not when he, and now Nastya as well were still stuck with the Doc. 

It would just be him and Nastya, Jonny swore to himself. No more. He couldn’t stop Carmilla from getting her hands on Nastya, but he would do everything in his power to stop her from making any more mechanisms, and someday he would take Nastya and escape. 

But for now, all he could do was walk away.


End file.
